My tips to prepare for running a marathon.

I’m at that age where people left, right and centre seem to be signing up to run a marathon… (I didn’t know that you’d ever done any physical activity since leaving school but waheeeey ok why not)

Running a marathon is one of those beautifully pretentious acts that allows you to feel smug forever more and to be perceived as a true hero for years to come.

that face = eternal smugness

But before you can bask in your super fitness glory you need to prepare yourself. Big time.

Although I’ve only ran one half marathon and one full marathon (proper rookie over here.) I’m going to give my 2 cents and document my best tips for marathon preparation..

1. Don’t underestimate the distance/experience

Everyone will tell you how hard it is. Everyone will tell you how long it is. Everyone will tell you how rewarding it is when you finish. It’s all of those things; don’t believe it will be any different than that for you.

2. Know your course

Most marathons will have the course available to download with information of terrain, altitude, incline etc. Study this to prepare yourself. Practice hills if it’s a hilly course, train on the road if it’s a road race! I’ll never understand people who only run through fields and on grass before a road race. You’ll arrive on the day of the marathon and your knees will be like F you mate, you’re on your own baaaai.

Also, stalk peoples blogs to see how they’ve found the run in previous years. Their experience will be vital if it’s a smaller race with less info on their website. The better you know your course, the better you can physically and mentally prepare for it.

3. Food glorious food.

Oh the pre marathon diet. Some love the whole ‘let’s nourish my body!’ period, others loathe it and focus on everything they’re missing out on. Mate, adapting your food is honestly the most beneficial and enjoyable part of your training and you can tailor it to totally work in your favour. Carbo loading = all the pasta. You can eat pizza! You can eat chocolate! You can go out and drink. Just don’t be an idiot about it and take it too far.

I just added more protein to my diet, totally cut out processed food and went for frequent small meals instead of fewer large ones (YES you can finally prep your meals in tupperware boxes like a top class knob). Add all the veg. Eat all the fruit and plan your meals around your training. I spent like 2 months eating non stop and still losing weight. Just lots of good food. Keep clementines in your bag, dried fruit, banana chips, whatever. Drink so much water and green tea that you spend half of your life on the loo. Happy days. A runners diet is nowhere near as bad as a bodybuilders diet.

4. track your runs

If you track your progress you can keep tabs on how you’re getting better. If you don’t keep track how do you know what’s effecting your performance? I used to have my Nike + app in my ear reeling off stats every kilometre, it’s super repetitive but I could predict my time of each run almost to the second. I then knew how new aspects threw me off or helped me along the way, e.g. a 15KM on a sunny day after a McDonalds was going to be 3 mins slower than one on an average temp day with no burger.

 

5. whats your motivation?

What’s that one thing that drags you out of bed and into your smelly trainers? What voice is telling you to turn down social plans for an evening in the gym? Why did you just casually drop £78 in NikeTown? If there’s nothing spurring you on then you’ll give up real quick, TRUSS MI DADDY. Realise your motivation early on and keep it at the forefront of your thinking. I once set a photo of a marathon medal as my phone background as a constant reminder. Very sad, I know, but bish I did not give up!

 

6. cheater cheater compulsive eater

Cheat meals and cheat weeks are the essence of life. Gurrrll (or guy) just live once in a while. Let your self slip off the bandwagon. Hell, trip over the bandwagon and break it into a million pieces. You WILL slip up. Build a bridge and quit crying. //embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js

7. be consistent

That being said… try and keep your training as consistent as possible. If you like yoga on a Tuesday afternoon, go every week! If you prefer early morning runs to after work ones then stick with that. If you have a routine you’re way more likely to stick with it

8. rest and recover

Radox muscle therapy bubble bath will be heaven sent. So will bath salts. Adopt a consistent stretching method and commit a good 20 mins to cooling down from a run. I used this one and adapted it over time to include more yoga poses.

9. rewards

Rest day is a reward in itself, don’t ever skip it because you think you’re invincible. Buying yourself a new pair of shoes after a week of solid training is totally acceptable. Buy yourself all the treats. Have a bubble bath every once in a while. Watch a tacky reality show while you work out. Rewards are yours if you put in the hard work.

10. have fun

Believe it or not, at some point this seemed like a great idea. Maybe once upon a time you actually liked running!? I found the fun parts were the classes I went to to keep up my fitness and cooking new meals at home. I wish I’d found more running buddies with similar goals. But yeah, make it fun. I’m all about making your playlist upbeat and going to classes which you’d not normally go to because why the hell not.

11. it’s all in your head

I don’t care if you’ve heard it before – running is 10% physical and 90% mental. This is probably the most valuable thing I’ve learnt since I started taking running seriously; your mental outlook is the most important part. If you tell yourself you’re tired, broken and can’t go on, you’ll give up! It’s cheesy and cliche but you 100% need to have a positive outlook if you stand a chance of crossing the finish line. You can train and eat right and have the most snazzy sports bra but if your heads not in the right space you will fail. So, invest in some positive thinking books or apps, tell yourself you can and will do it and keep going.  

You got this.

x

20 thoughts I’ve had since returning from Kenya

We returned from Kenya about a week agoooo and as always I’m having some reverse culture shock now I’m in little old Welwyn Garden City. It probably doesn’t help that I’ve gone to London about 6 of the 7 days that I’ve been back. Cue long escalators down to the tube (it’s surprisngly difficult get on an escalator after not being on for so long) and hoards of Christmas shoppers coming at me like an angry army.

These are some of the thoughts I’ve had since returning from Kenya;

1. language – I can’t say my normal ‘asante sana’ ‘pole’ ‘tuannai’ etc etc. I’ve had lots of weird looks as I’ve come out with ‘asanthank you’ to the guy who held the door open for me.

2. Where has the sun gone? Seriously, it’s dark when I wake up, it’s dark when I leave for work (OK I don’t have a job yet  but you know what I mean; interviews/seeing my friends/wondering around Selfridges wishing I was rich), it’s dark when I get home. It’s practically dark by time I have my lunch. Who stole the sun? 😦

3. I have so much stuff. So many resources. Why am I not doing business? How do I complain about having nothing to wear when I have so much.

4. I can wash my clothes in a machine. On the flip side, I can’t just dry my things outside for an hour or two, I actually have to wait a full day.

5. I can have a shower with heat options and everything. To be fair, I loved our bucket showers back in Kenya but it is pretty cool to just press a button and have hot, running water. Gone are the days of heating rain water over a fire. Oh and shower gel. No more dried up soap, actual fruity, foamy shower gel. What a time to be alive!

6. I can hear about world news, not just what’s going on in East Africa. Not that great because most of the news is depressing but whatevs.

7. Everyone looks like a moody bastard. But maybe that’s not UK specific, more of a London thing.

8. Why cant I get lunch for 50 bob? Wheres the cabbage and chapati? Also, totally craving street cake and pineapple slices.

9. Sanitary adverts here are so dull. Check out Always in Africa –

10. I want to talk to every black person I see. ‘what tribe you from babes???’ ‘Habari gani huns?!’ – I must remember that not every person with brown skin wants to be my mate. Not every black person is from Kenya…

11. There is so much food in the shops. Any food you could ever want (except chapati and cabbage). I spend 40% of my time standing in the aisles like whaaaaaat should I get. Even the choice of drinks is crazy. I’m not used to having more than 2 options. So overwhelmed waaaaa.

12. And all those things cost like 10 times more than they did a week ago.

13. Christmas lights and decorations everywhere. It’s all anyone can talk about. Don’t really get the hype.

14. I have my own room and privacy and now cows outside my window waking me up at 5:30am

15. It. is. FREEZING.

16. New music!!!! I don’t know a lot of new artists and am a bit confused why everyone’s loving Justin Bieber all of a sudden but still. New music to my eaaaars!

17. No one shouts ‘Mzungu!’ (white person) as I walk down the street?! Street kids don’t harass me (I actually miss the kids loads and loads) and I don’t have to shake hands to greet every single person I meet. Happy days.

18. There is zero choice of tacky posters to buy on the street. And that makes me sad.

19. There’s plenty of excess room on public transport. Nothing will ever compare to our squished matatu journeys home; I’m talking 22 people stuffed onto a 16 seater minibus. Having personal space is not an option.

20. It’s just not Africa. After a combined almost 2 years in Africa since 2012 coming back to the UK just doesn’t feel like home anymore.Not sure if I’ll ever shake that feeling! sob sob.

Kenya photodiary – Tuko nyumbani

Part 6.

Tuko nyumbani – we are at home.

I arrived at my second Kenyan host home about a month into the placement. Late to the party as ever. My mum, Peris is the househelp which means she cooks and cleans and generally is a great mother figure. My host dad, Stanley is a retired beekeeper and now an advocate for people with disabilities as well as helping the community access clean drinking water. They are both some of the greatest people I’ve ever met, let alone live with.

It’s not until I really think about it that I realise how many crazy good people there are in my life. Success is measured in different ways and I would class both Peris and Stanley as extremely successful people. They took me in as a ‘volunteer refugee’ and made me feel like I’d always been in their little family unit.

We had bees that lived in the walls of the house because Stanley ‘liked having them around’ and he’d happily let them sting him because apparently it helped with his arthritis. When the honey was processed, towards the end of the program, we helped to heat it, separate it from the cone then Jonathon would assist with the packaging. This meant a house full of honey and happy Mary and Sophie in the mornings when we could just help ourselves to as much as possible. Peris would sometimes just scrape the bottom of the barrel and feed us with a spoon like a bird feeding her chicks. GOOD TIMES.

I didn’t get any photos of Stanley with my film camera because he was always busy with the bees or community projects. But this is Peris.
Check her out, separating the maize she’s picked from the shamba (farm)

This is the fire room where we’d heat water for our morning showers. We did have a fully functioning normal shower connected to the main water supply but it was broken half of the time. So not really functioning then. Andrew and I both loved this room; it was so dark, dingy and cold but the perfect place to sit and chat when there was a power cut. It’s also where we sat and stirred honey in the evening.

If you hadn’t guessed yet, I’m a dog lover. My best mate in Makutano was Shifter. When I arrived, his paw was split in half because he’d got it caught on barbed wire so Andrew and I bandaged it up using our first aid kit supplies. Unsurprisingly the dressing was gone by the next morning but luckily it all healed up well. Dogs are not domesticated in Kenya and the idea of your dog sleeping in your bed or even coming in your house is a bizarre thought to most Kenyans.
Shifter’s mum. Nameless

Shifter’s little sister. She was underfed so resulted in eating 7 baby chicks. Her owners were not happy
Say Jambo to a few of our friendly cows.




Post run death. Running in Kenya was like a rite of passage for me. I knew the altitude would be a problem (1905m by the way compared to a modest 122m in Hertfordshire) but I didn’t realise what a massive problem it would be. I planned to attempt 10Kms a few times a week. I managed about 2Kms at a time. Oh well, at least I didn’t pass out or anything.

That’s all for Makutano home life. It’s a beautiful thing that we can be so adaptable to move countries, houses and families and feel so at home so quickly. That’s one of my favourite things about Kenyans, is how hospitable and welcoming they are.
2 more posts to come; Ol Jogi safari and Nanyuki town

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happy Thursday xoxo

Maz

KanYAY at Louis Vuitton Foundation

I’ve seen Kanye a lot. I’d say I’m a fan but not a mega devoted one and like most people I much prefer his old stuff to the the new angry, aggressive, vain Kanye. But he’s a good performer so I wasn’t going to turn down the chance to see him in Paris. A group of us had our eyes peeled for an announcement of a surprise gig because of his last minute performance at KoKo in London so we got tickets; Matita and Rachel went on Sunday and Amrita and I on Tuesday night.

The Louis Vuitton Foundation is an amazing, grand venue so we already high hopes. I was running super late because my host mum was late coming home from work, the train line I needed was closed and I had to wait ages for the RER (I watched the fat rats run around the platform while I waited). From Les Sablons I sprinted to the foundation, it’s surrounded by woods so I went between the trees in the dark like I was in a freakin action movie. Amrita had already gone inside and the queue was so crazily long so I managed to blag my way very near the front with a group of excited americans.

 

I found Amrita sat on the floor of a separate room where they were previewing the new ‘All Day’ video. It was cool to see an exclusive but the video was nothing special, just a camera following Kanye looking tired, rapping to an empty room. We got pushed into the auditorium and waited about an hour for Kanye to bless us with his presence… While we waited we watched everyone get excited by anyone who went to sit in the VIP section, Kris Jenner, Kendall, Cara Delevingne, Lily Donaldson, Gigi Hadid and Joan Smalls all showed up and spent their whole time taking selfies. No surprise there.

When Kanye finally showed up (didn’t actually wait that long. He usually leaves audiences waiting for at least 2 hours) he had nothing on stage, no musicians on stage and no gimmicks. He played his most popular songs from his last album; Blood on the Leaves went down well with all the frenchies screaming ‘blood on zee leeeeeeves!’. It was so squished at the front so we moved to the mosh pit while Kendall and Kris filmed clips and uploaded them to their instagrams. Probably judging us for being so sweaty and disgusting. We both agreed that the second half was much better than the first, all day, all of the lights, good life, can’t tell me nothing, touch the sky etc!

Even though the stage was bare, some songs were accompanied by surround graphics of trees and waterfalls. It was all very arty but didn’t fit that well with the music (in my opinion). The crowd annoyed us a bit with constant selfie taking, not really knowing the old songs and generally filming the whole gig. Like watching it all through their iphone screens. Not Ok frenchies. My favourite part of the night was when Amrita and I were the only ones to ‘get low’ during All Day. Literally us just jamming on the floor while everyone looked on in confusion. 

Kanye was awesome, the venue was amazing and we loved how intimate it was but I think that was the last time I’d see Mr West. Especially as half of the audience were more interested in what the Jenner/Kardashian Klan were up to.

 

Mary x

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pairs in Paris

Back to Paris; friends, work and overpriced beers.

On Friday I went on a run which turned out to be the furthest I’ve ever ran (that I can remember), 15 miles! I intended to do 13 but realistically aimed for 11.5. I ran to Bois de Boulogne and ended up doing a few extra laps of the park because I couldn’t quite believe what I was seeing. I’d heard that this particular park was popular with ‘ladies of the night’ (lololol) but it wasn’t until I saw how many there were that I believed it. I promise you I saw about 10 definite prostitutes and suspected another 5 or so. This was at 2 in the afternoon!!! To make things weirder there were loads of men suspiciously walking around, stinking of alcohol and cigarettes. there were little man made shacks between the trees and expensive cars parked sporadically on the walkways. This is the weirdest park I’ve ever been to. I know what you’re thinking, I’ve obviously come to a dodgey area. But seriously it’s a nice area, right next to the new huge Louis Vuitton foundation and surrounded by grand houses. And it’s a family park with kids everywhere. Why are there so many prostitures!?

 

As I tried to erase what I’d just seen, I made my way home and although the last 3 or so miles were difficult I reached home with energy and actually didn’t feel like I was going to die. I ran further than the race I’m training for so it gave a bit of extra confidence. 

 

On Saturday night Evie, Carys and I had planned to go to the Brazil themed night at Le Bellvilloise but unlucky Evie had hurt her ankle so thought a night of dancing wasn’t really the best idea. We went to hers anyway to predrinks and catch up on holiday stories. The night was pretty decent but as soon as me and Carys arrived I remembered I had a huge carnival headpiece I should’ve worn, ah mayn. Although the drinks are crazily overpriced I really like the club and the Brazilian music was really fun to dance to. They had some drummers and professional dancers on stage, afterwards the male dancer came and joined us normos. He was crazy and we had a little Beyoncé/Brazilian dance off. We left the club to get the first metros home, I found a cat on my way home which looked like it needed cuddles. It then tried to follow me home. No kitty, the cuddle was enough.

 

Yesterday I was so overtired but wanted to exercise so compromised with a power walk to la defense, about 4 miles away, to try and find a dress to wear to my Grandma’s party. I didn’t end up buying anything but did get stopped on 3 different occasions by women asking if I worked in the particular stores. I was wearing running leggings, a baggy top, a bright red sorts jacket and trainers. With no make up and scruffy hair! This happened in Spain too when I was wearing sports clothes, am I missing something?! 

 

This evening me and Carys saved our cents and watched Maid in Manhattan on DVD. I’ve realized we basically are J Lo, just au pairs not maids, not in love with any senators and we don’t have that booty. But apart from that ya know. 

‘Although we serve them, we are not their servants. What we do, Miss Ventura, does not define who we are. What defines us is how well we rise after falling.’ – Quote from Lionel in the movie. So deeeeeeep.

Pairs in Paris. 

 

Mary 

X

 

Budapest in December – Photo diary

Christmas in Vienna – Photo diary

Serial for breakfast.

I swear to the lord of time that he’s doing something to speed it up these days. This week has just gone by so quickly and the weekend is almost over already. Noooooo!

This week I rediscovered my love for podcasts. Evie recommended ‘Serial‘ and shut the front door it was so good! I know I’m late to the party because it started in October but I got seriously hooked and listened to the whole series in about 3 days. Serial is “about the basics: love and death and justice and truth. All these big, big things.” – a podcast questioning the investigation into the 1999 Murder of Hae Min Lee, an 18-year-old student at Woodlawn High School in Baltimore, Maryland. Everyone has their own opinion but I wish it came to a conclusive ending as my theory is that Adnan is innocent; 15 years is a long time to stick to your story. If I were in his shoes and guilty, I definitely would’ve cracked at some point!

I used to listen to Scott Mills’ podcasts religiously but don’t enjoy them as much when I’m not in England as they’re usually discussing TV shows that I’m obviously not watching when in France. I did download Jenna and Julien’s podcasts, they just talk rubbish but some episodes are hilarious. I like how they don’t take it seriously; they’re just sat at home having a normal conversation. So yeah, I’m back on the podcast hype.

When and my friend Kevin and I went for drinks on Monday we were told we couldn’t get a drink without also getting some food, so crepes all round. Lulu, by Canal Saint-Martin, was pretty cute. Lot’s of mirrors in the toilet to make you feel uncomfortable though…

On Wednesday I made a rule of no TV all day (am I a fun sucker?) because I wanted to be more productive with the children. J & P actually slept at nap time which was a surprise. F and I made some beaded bracelets, did some colouring in and they all danced around the living room until it was bath time. I’m very excited for the weather to improve so we can spend Wednesdays at the park or take the scooters and bikes out, at the moment it’s just too cold to go and have a nice time outside!

I also managed to chat to one of my bestest buds from Cape Town, Thami, on Wednesday, I spoke to him on the phone for the first time since May! It was so nice to hear his voice and he enjoyed gloating about the crazy hot weather in Langa. He asked when I was coming back to see him and the kids at the kindergarden… I wish I had an answer to that

Thami & I in Langa-hoooood

On Friday I ended up at a small dinner party, lucky me being the only English speaker amongst a close group of friends who were all quite a bit older than me. I had more crepes and ended up having a good time. Saturday was quiet and Hakim and I went for a drink in the evening while he was shocked at how many foods I don’t like or haven’t tried. ‘France has the best food in the world and you only want to eat Margherita pizza?!’ – yeah, pretty much sums up my life. I rushed back home to babysit and Carys came round for an overdue catch up, she gave me a notepad and cute pen for a belated Xmas present (n’aaaaw!) and it was lovely to see her. The children were so sleepy that when I went to put them to bed they were already half asleep whilst brushing their teeth.

I need to go for a long run today but I’m procrastinating as I know it’s going to be so difficult as I’ve had a lazy week 😦 Life’s hard when you’re trying to be fit.

p.s. is it weird that I love the colour of the pea soup I made?! When I say made I mean heated.

Onto I ebay I go to find a pea soup coloured jumper.

Mary

biz.

The Seventy Fifth

Calling all English speakers in Paris! Plus anyone who loves creative articles, pretty illustrations, arty photographs, clever poems and generally a good read.

The Seventy Fifth is a new zine (oh yes I have linked a definition for you out of touch folk) created by some very talented and hard working friends of mine for like minded guys and gals in Paris. It’s been put together by au pairs and expats and the first edition focuses on the theme of ‘isolation’. Definitely a state felt by all in a foreign country at some point. Anyway, I’ll shut up and you can read and judge for yourself! I hope you enjoy it, you’ll find a little illustration by me a few pages in, opposite ‘The Complexities of Expatriatism’, which is hilarious (and so relatable) by the way!

Click here to have a flick through issue 1 – then come back if you want to see more….

If you’d like to receive issue 2 (the theme is LOVE, ooh la laaaa) and help support this fun and creative project please pledge a few quid to the kickstarter page. If I happen to have any millionaire readers on this blog then a huge pledge wouldn’t be so bad 😉

Follow the zine on;

Facebook. 

Instagram.

Twitter.

Tumblr.

Phew, that’s all for now. Big up Evie, Carys and Briana for making it look so fab.

Mary

biz.